Change is hard, but not because you are “holding onto your past” or lack willpower. In actuality, unconscious habits and beliefs drive most of our feelings and behaviors, which is why we continue to act as we do even when we “know better.” To create lasting change requires altering the neural pathways in your brain that cause you to do the same things over and over.
Mindfulness is an ancient practice of self-study that allows you to observe yourself without judgment. Rather than getting caught up in your reactions, you can witness your ways of being through the eyes of a curious and compassionate observer.
Processing in mindfulness is a deeper and more intimate way of contacting yourself. You are likely to touch into feelings, memories, and beliefs that are surprising, yet feel powerful and true. This experience can be a great relief. Behaviors that were mystifying make sense, especially when viewed as creative adaptations to deficits in your early life. Once you “see” and understand your habitual ways of being, you can integrate experiences that were missing when you were young. Your brain reorganizes itself through experiences, which is how you change patterns that no longer serve you.